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stuff & nonsense

Ordered a new battery for the R75/5 (in the background). Finally.

Watched a bit of LJ drama from the sidelines. I'd link it but the drama itself was deleted to protect the guilty and side-discussion is friends-locked.

Watched a bit of convention drama (again, the discussion is friends-locked) from the sidelines. A convention in another time-zone that shall remain nameless just had a minor implosion on one of its web boards because a pair of folks decided that the convention wasn't doing enough to be "kid friendly" or "family friendly."

This kind of started with the head of the children's programming track asking for ideas for next year and quickly devolved into a few folks whining about how their needs as parents not being met was the reason the con is shrinking.

Now I know some of you with kids are probably less than happy with how I phrased that, but let me give you a bit of context.

One of the parties was stridently lamenting how with her children she and her husband can't have the same sort of con experience they did before the kids. Having parent-supervised kidspace wasn't an acceptable answer. "What if my husband and I both want to go to two different panels at the same time? We can't do that!" It's the con's responsibility to make this possible again by providing babysitting or daycare.

It's not so much a parenting issue as a "the world owes us" situation. As Susan Sto Helit said "Sometimes I wish there was a test before people were allowed to have children... well at least besides the practical." Raising children requires compromises of time, budget and lifestyle, and the fact that someone has a second or third child without ever accepting that is really scary.

Then again, there are a lot of consumer-fans without kids would rather beat their heads in vain against reality than learn to live in it...


Feb. 1st, 2005 11:45 pm (UTC)
Ooo, was the drama my drama? Yay! And it gets better - the original moderator may ask me to be a moderator, too! Ain't that funny?

As far as kids go, yeah, it's a toughie. Thankfully my friends with kids are keenly aware that their lives are not the same as most other people's, and they accommodate themselves, and the people around them, respectfully. For example, my friend Penni has 3 kids, so she goes to Pennsic for the first week alone, then the second week she brings the kids - and we barely see her! In return, however, I try to make time to spend with her AND her kids, since she's making time NOT to see me.

Now that's respect. I wish everyone were so.
Feb. 1st, 2005 11:57 pm (UTC)
You have got to be fucking kidding...

As I mentioned to Denisen, the vast majority of the parents I know (and all that I am willing to hang out with which includes the ones who commented here):

a) find a balance between their lives with their kids and adult activities.
b) understand that their kids have to come first, even if it sometimes means giving up things they don't necessarily want to
c) actively work to ensure that their kids, as they get old enough to understand, learn to function with adults.

It's the ones who don't who are on the road to being both fannish and parenting failures.
Feb. 2nd, 2005 12:45 am (UTC)
Your a), b) and c) have always been very important points to us. :)

Since we have made the decicion in life to work with "unfinished human product" :p, we aim to eventually guide and civilise that "unfinished product" into becoming more cool "finished" adult people to the best of our ability. It sure doesn't happen without us. We know we can't rely on anyone else, including the school system (as so many idiot parents try to do!) to do it for us.

And we like hanging out with you too, very much. :)
Feb. 2nd, 2005 10:39 am (UTC)
I kid you not - I'll post more in my LJ today. Whee!
Feb. 2nd, 2005 05:32 pm (UTC)
More on same
Not to get too boring on the same subject (I do tend to go on ...), but I have to just post to agree with Andy.

I think Jay will agee that our overall goals with Katie are to make sure she enjoys a happy childhood, learns to set and stay within limits when needed (though stepping outside the box is encouraged in some regards, e.g., costuming, writing, etc.), and learns to get along with the people around her (a quality sadly lacking in many adult fen). I figure a mark of our success is that Katie will have interesting stories to tell her friends when she's in her 20's, but won't be overly traumatized by anything we do, and will stay in contact with us by choice as an adult. 8-)
Frankly, it's been a lot of fun raising Katie so far - more than any number of "how to raise your child" books told us. A phenomenal amount of work, too, but what a fabulous ride it's been so far (and we're still only 4 years in)!

One thing I can say for sure (and will now, before signing off) is how grateful we've been to our friends and co-fen who've been around when we've had Katie. Some dumped us entirely when we had kids (no contact, no nothing), and so we learned the value they placed on our friendship. Some requested (verbally or otherwise) non-child attended socialization only, and we've been fine with that too (it was to be expected, and is most definitely not considered as an offense). But the best part has been having fun with our friends with Katie, and at conventions or events with her. They've graciously made allowances, often without being asked, for which we're eternally grateful, and as a result, Katie's been able to learn things that no other 4 year old in her class knows about (Klingons, 19th century party dresses, croquet, watched us fit a bodice). And hey, she gives some friends a chance to buy the plastic tiaras and 4-foot long pink stuffed unicorns they'd always wanted as kids. We try not to impose ourselves or our lifestyle on our friends, but we sure do appreciate it when we're welcomed into the fold.

So if I haven't thanked you (you know who you are), let me thank you now, and tell you that you hold some of the "special-est" places in our hearts.


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