Wil Wheaton, "Welcome Back Kotter," George Lucas, a skeksis, a fucking machine and Goats.
Read through to the end of the storyline.
You know you want to.
You know you need to.
Only a professional actress can accommodate that accessory.
If you want, as Paul Harvey puts it, the rest of the story, and you're not just in it for the Pork-O-Tron 5000, start here instead.